The other day Sun (as in Borui Sun) mentioned that she likes to read blogs and does so often. Of course, I asked her if she read mine. I got a soft, roundabout answer, but the short version was this: “Yours are too long and don’t give much insight into your personal life.” I suppose that’s true. I’ve been writing these more like essays or short stories than the traditional blog (can you call a blog “traditional?”). They aren’t at any regular interval. They mostly involve the exceptions to my routine rather than the routine itself. But I would argue that they are personal.
I’m not sure how to defend that stance. They aren’t personal in the sense of explicitly revealing secrets or emotions, but in a more subtle sense; they have personality without any clear or particular personal details. Now how do you explain that to someone whose first language is Mandarin? That seems to present a problem.
The way I write I think tells a bit about my personality. I’m not formal. I never have been, I never will be. I hate suits, ties, and dress shoes. Calling someone by their first name is always more natural than calling them “Sir” or “Madam.” I can’t even remember calling my parents that ever, even when I was in trouble. Likewise, my writing isn’t particularly formal; you’ll notice I’ve used three contractions in this sentence alone. Grammar is a guideline not a rule. Sentences can be however long or whatever lacking. See? I write like I talk; the punctuation just gets the pauses where I would put them. So, when you read these, you see me, sitting at my computer talking to you, not lecturing in a suit and tie.
I like to wander. I like to wander streets. I like to wander through shrines. I like to wander through my thoughts too. These do usually end up with some sort of structure, but no more so than any normal conversation with brief asides and random thoughts on a subject ever so briefly touched. Like right now, I’m meth the spider on the wall next to me. I’m pretty sure he lives in my room. I’ve decided to keep him to rid me of any bugs that may come as a result of never cleaning. Anyway. Back to the subject of wandering. What does that say about me? I’m not sure. I think I’ll let you decide; no one’s ever the best judge of themselves.
I’ve stumbled onto my last point with much more grace than I intended to. I like to make people think. Be that by word games, questions, or the random digressions on subjects such as pet spiders, I hope I raise questions. I don’t care what the questions are, as long as they are. You see, you are the most fascinating part of these. I know what I think and what I saw, what you think is the greatest mystery. I write these partially for myself, but fully with you in mind.
And thus, that is my short discussion on blogs.
(PS: The spider just jumped from my comb back to the wall.)